DA old timers  

Hi Mark. I hope you are safe.
Spanky, no hard feelings, but that Trump portrait just about ruined my day. In spite of your hilarious photoshop work, the original is a bloody awful paint job. (I know you know that already…) It hurts to look at it. And not just because it's The Donald. I can't even see the donald, the painting is so bad. My retinas are now seared for the weekend. It will take time to recover from the trauma of having viewed it. It's lodged in my nostrils like the smell of a dead possum. How do these smarm-merchants even GET portrait gigs at all? Not that I would want a portrait gig, but Jesus…. Look at those pants. No, don't.

I want to paint his portrait. I do. I'd probably begin with dog shit and Pledge furniture polish, then I'd look in my garage for more. I once heard that he ate fried chicken on the white bedspreads in Mar a Lago. Yes I did. Fried fucking yard bird...skin on, extra sauce...in bed.!. It was tough on the staff. I only hope that the drapes in the bathroom are located far from the bidet. I do. Jesus.
Best,
Aunt Mark
ps. I like my new simple approach to evening attire tonight. Simple Tom Ford flat front pale blue slim cut pants with Gucci (whisper white) accessories. No chicken. No waiting. No future. Hi.
pss

But....
I only am wearing the pale blue pants because I wanted to wear this lovely silk Lilly Pulitzer jacket. Yup. Fat meat is good meat.
Drinks?
Aunt Mark

The sad thing is, Cowan's portraits aren't even good likenesses. The family portrait of the Prince and Princess of Monaco and their children is a disgrace; the solo of Grace is better, but the two faces could belong to different women.
There are a million hack painters, many with a few reliable reliable moves that they picked up somewhere. It makes one realize what genius there is in the real ones.

Yes it does SDR. Genius is hard to find. Yet the masses seem to love mediocrity and cheese.
"Dogshit and pledge furniture polish". How great it would be to see that as the listed materials on a Donald Trump portrait.
.
Title: Portrait of Donald (with Outlined Hand) After Scarfing Fried Chicken in Bed
Date: 1995
Materials; Dogshit and Pledge furniture polish on cotton duck canvas
.
Mark, I think you should do a Trump portrait in the style of your masterful "sheetrock drawings" of late 2012-- but with your newfound materials listed above. Maybe throw in some fried chicken smears and a little gold leaf. Just let it run wild.
.
I will do one of Donald in feathers and rust and red meat (with tan lines). Since chicken is already taken.

Hah !
That's got to be the best post so far in this whole thread -- apologies to everyone else.
See ? Our first genuine dog-meat presidential candidate is good for something: inspiration !

Yes.
My inspiration apparently matters far more than the sad fate of America!
Kim Kardashian for president.
Creepy Clowns are the new THING.
Andy Warhol saw the reality TV president coming.
15 minutes of fame turned into a MONSTER (named Donald)
THE THING
(THE FUTURE AS ART- BEGINNING NOW, EVERYWHERE)

Oh yes!
I nearly forgot about the sheetrock drawings.
Oh yes,
Aunt Mark

Oh yes, indeed.

THE TRUTH! " as told by a queen wearing a wig ".
from,
Aunt Mark

I still love your exquisite sheetrock drawings Mark. Thank you for another look at em! They hold up very well. That is an excellent "portrait" of Spanky.
(But sadly, I have to pay the price of being exposed to that Donald portrait yet again….!)
And that hand... When I look at the painting, all I can see is that f*cking outlined hand. It looks so weird and flat, cut out and pasted on, with dark all around it. Floating above the rest of the painting. Or pressed into it. Too much to ask for a little shading on Donald's fat fingers?
OH, and learned from the wig guy that you are never supposed to laugh while making a painting. I wish I knew that before I laughed my ass off several thousand times while attempting to make art. What a quack.
To cleanse my brain of this abomination, I'm gonna go see some Ed Ruscha today in SF. Words words words. I hope "Accidental Sideburns" is included in the show.
EDIT: Just remembered the full title:
I DON'T WANT NO S - SILICONES OR ACCIDENTAL SIDEBURNS
and lest we forget:
HONEY, I TWISTED THROUGH MORE DAMNED TRAFFIC TODAY
and
SOME PRETTY EYES AND SOME ELECTRIC BILLS
and
99% ANGEL
and

I think that painting looks downright pretty compared to the hideously ugly heap of doodoo that is the actual human being. If he's actually human, that is. I wonder sometimes.
Mark, the sheetrock art is a treasure!

Gosh, Thanks spanky and EamesHead.
The sheetrock has been long covered with mirror, never to be seen again. I am looking for a snappy of my very ornate patina'd brass doorbell hanging in my northern home. Prior to installing the wallpaper (yes) I had a dinner party (yes) and the artist friend who was invited borrowed a lovely ladies lipstick (yes), and drew a decent portrait of Queen Elizabeth directly under the chimes (yes), turning the doorbell into a beautiful crown that any gal would love and be proud to wear (yes). Damn good portrait (yes).
Gosh,
Aunt Mark
ps 3 snappies are of the orchids that I saved from last social season. I was here a lot over the summer, and kept them all alive. I can't seem to encourage them to bloom. Might be too shady. I hate to toss them into the dumpster. I need a project. I need shock therapy. I do.

And this was the best news in today's local paper...
Best, hi
Aunt Mark
Lena Mary Thankful Clarke, if you please, is a queer combination —a bundle of contradictions. In personal appearance and dress she is far from attractive. Her figure is heavy and uncorseted and her clothes smack of the backwoods.
"Her shoes are generally without heels and her stockings of cotton. Her skin is very fine in texture but covered with large, disfiguring freckles. Miss Clarke's only assets in appearance are her hair, which is decidedly Titian and naturally wavy, and her eyes, deep blue in color and absolutely straight and unwavering in their gaze,"
(EDIT):: and this! (Jesus Christ, I think that I know this gal. I do. Named changed, natch. Probably a smoker).
At her Orlando trial in November 1921, Clarke enthralled courtroom spectators by bringing her crystal ball to court. She spun tales of leading 12 previous lives. She was in the Garden of Eden when the solar system was created, she insisted. She also claimed to have been the Egyptian goddess Isis as well as the actress for whom William Shakespeare wrote the role of Ophelia.

Hey Mark, was she at the debate last night?
My favorite name of all the "regular people" at the town hall debate was one KENNETH BONE, a portly guy in a red sweater.
By the end of the night "K-BONE" had become a crowd favorite and an internet sensation.
Also of interest after the debate: Donald's own daughter pulling away when he leaned in to give her a kiss.
I think this one is finally OVER.
Whew.