DA old timers  

squirrel meets alp horn guy
mark watching on video
evil in first class
.
i had to get warmed up. After all, its early out west.
EDIT I guess twisted minds think alike riki

You are more on the ball than I am, Eameshead. My middle line is short some syllables, methinks.
Edit:
Scary Squirrel, a crow
and a Swiss alphorn player
walk into a bar. . .
Much better.

riki suggests a
three way. squirrel, crow and alp horn
there is no exit

Riki,
The first thought your photos evoke is are you sure you put enough in the pipe. Not a haiku, but rather a snafu.
Merry Christmas

SDR… 'nuff said
don't even have to say it
when man talks up crow

its the thought that counts
for better or for far worse
much better riki

Is't it points
off for Eameshead if his ha
iku has a rhyme ?
(see post 358)
.
Better a rhyme
than a broken-up "haiku" !
Fuggedaboutit . . .

look what we've come to
crows, squirrels, and alpenhorns
can't blame Ray this time
.
.
.
yes, I say squir-rel
Germans can't say it at all
Yup! little known fact.

If someone could please photoshop an Eames lounge chair and an alpenhorn into Spanky's illustration, I could die a happy woman.

new house rules are these?
"squirrel" has two syllables?
and no rhymes allowed?
So all this time, I was only counting ONE syllable for squirrel, because I pronounce it that way. I did think about two syllables a couple of times though. I know, I know… I'm wrong. And I am an illiterate know- nothing. So maybe the rule could be "best guess" at syllables? As long as the intent to play fair is there? (Anything but having to look up words for a freaking haiku...)
Wait, wait--- "ALP-EN-HORN"? You mean all of my haikus from this morning that had "alp-horn" are wrong too? And SDR wants to dock me points for a cheap rhyme in a haiku?
So basically I have to toss the entire morning's haiku work on these ticky-tack violations? Jesus.
ALPEN SCHMALPEN OH!
DOES IT START WITH PORN OR BLOW ?
IT ALL ENDS IN CROW

. . .Ho ho ho.
Oh, no. Sorry, Bro -- you know how it go.
No rules in DA poetry, certainly not. Life is too short (as I like to say). Do it your way ! Here comes a sleigh. Take it awa-a-ay . . . !

I think alpenhorn is plural? Or just German?? I needed 3 syllables so I went with it.
Obscure and useless facts: the alp horn has the same overtone series as the French horn, which I used to play for money, and sometimes to make my dog howl. And the Brits say something like "skwih-rull" and Germans make a complete mess of it.

***** ******* *****
Lung hernia, Yes
No spit valve and no foreplay
Swiss lips made of steel.
The hills are alive
festive blowing out lovechunks
all dentures removed.
Appliqué jackets
five old men with real bad breath
horns used to be white.
with love,
Aunt Mark

Now THAT's poetry. Robert Frost, eat your heart out.
Thanks, Spanky. Proves that you can find anything . . . ANYthing . . . on the www.
(Squirrel does not rhyme with hurl -- except in POETRY, where all is forgiven ! Note the two Rs.)
Love you all.

Hi.
Hi.
I'm setting the table for a Sunday brunch. I am cooking, and even whipped up a chocolate cake (from scratch, natch). Typical brunch grub (free range squirrel and scrambled sparrow eggs).
china: Raymond Loewi 1961 (Rosenthal Studio Line)
flatwear: Dansk Roudure
mats and naps and rings: Neiman Marcus
dining table/chairs: Roche Bobois
rug: I forgot
All are invited. Casual, please. Socks optional. Swearing encouraged. Noonish, EST.
See you soon,
Aunt Mark
ps Chesty Morgan is a Republican.