What's your poison?  

My favorite is
I was on vacation ,and I happened to make a wrong turn little did I know I was entering an Indian village well they welcomed me ,and my mullet.I sat there crossed legged piece pipe in one hand a bottle of mouthwash in the other Ever since then I always have liked the flavor of mouthwash. Anyone agree?

Grey goose is a marketing scam
I've been drinking vodka rocks for 35 years. Grey Goose tastes like paint thinner. It's success is the result of brilliant marketing. Stoli for the boom times Smirnoff for the busts.