Table Talk.  

Measure twice....
Measure twice, and cut once. And by "Measure" I am NOT referring to a shot glass!

Send a tracing.
Place the topside down onto a piece of good-quality paper and trace the inside and outside with a sharp #3 or #4 pencil, clearly mark the respective proper top and bottom sides, fold it to fit in a 9 1/2 x 11 USPS envelope.
Let the seller choose which portion of the plank.
And, lastly, you are aware that a solid slab that size will never stay flat, right?

Never is a bit strong . . .
but you can cheat the odds by treating both sides of the slab exactly the same -- from sanding right through finish. And, it wouldn't hurt to keep it out of the sun, and not cover the top with anything like a place mat or that paisley contact paper you've been saving for a special project. After that, it's just hoping that the piece of wood was properly seasoned before it was planed to its final thickness, and that it was stored on stickers so that no single face was exposed to the air for any length of time.
Can't wat to see the snappies !

I never say never.
Except when I mean never. Sorry, SDR, but you know as well as anyone that the slab will move in ways no one can predict, and there's no way it will remain flat.
In fact, I'd recommend allowing at least 3/16" for cross-grain expansion considering the location of Mark's condo.

oh!
I fear that the teak man has flaked out on me. After giving me the price for the lumber, slicing and shipping, I agreed that the price was fine..send the invoice. And I'm still waiting. I've requested the bill several times. I may need some guidance.
I'm still here,
Aunt Mark

Mark
When was the last time he communicated with you? He may be one of those guys who takes long weekends and/or does not mix his weekends with work. Or he could be a bird watcher and can't have a cellphone going off in the middle of a sighting.
Wait until Monday.

Yeah Mark,
I was going to say the same thing. This happens all the time with ebay sellers.
Just take a puff (and blame Ray)
OK

10-4.
Thanks.
Always,
Aunt Mark

You all were correct.
The wood man emailed me this morning. Seems that he had a flood in his workshop over the weekend, and the desired piece of teak is soaked. He's gonna sniff around his garage for a replacement board.
To be continued...
Aunt Mark

oh damn....
I'm sorry Mark.
What a drag this must be for you. (Not to mention the seller- hope he is okay)
I have enjoyed the highly educational TABLE TALK thus far, and I will hope for the best outcome.
I bought a raft of sale priced succulent plants yesterday.
Does that count as table talk?
No, but WTF.

Oh I hope that your succulents are a success, Eameshead!
After 5 ebay attempts at trying to buy a proper piece of teak, I have finally succeeded....sorta. It's not quite the piece that I had in mind, but what the hell...it might just look splendid. I should receive it in a week or so. Snappies to follow.
Always,
Your Aunt Mark

Congratulations Mark
on your teak success
I miss "table talk", and glad to hear that the story is not over.
The succulents are looking fresh and alive so far, but to hell with them! Because I am far more excited about my vintage zinc cat's cradle LAR base that just arrived today. It came from your neck of the woods, where it had lived its prior life on a red Eames shell.
Teak TaLK Rules! Can't wait for the next chapter!

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Isn't it hard to soak teak? It's essentially waterproof and that's the reason it's so often used outdoors, yes? Hmmmmmm.
LAR porn plz-

objectworship continues
to bust my chops for being too lazy to post pics! I deserve it, no doubt!
But its not just laziness? its classic techno fear.
The horror!
I will work on it objectworship, I promise.
Now, back to Table Talk.

Looking forward to snappies!
Looking forward to snappies!