A Million and One Uses?  

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So what does it smell like?
Best,
Aunt Mark

I'll count that as one vote for "dildo". There are no odors. If it has been used to hit the spot(s), it appears to have been rinsed afterward.

Is it possibly some sort of roll paper product holder (toilet paper, hand towels)?
Or perhaps it fell off of a carnival ride.

Someone caught a large fish, and wanted to prominently and stylishly display the bobber used.

I'm going with Emcee's suggestion. All it needs is a small, tasteful, engraved plaque, or maybe a photo of the fish.

Well then it should taste like chicken.
Yes,
Aunt Mark

I almost hate to say it, but I think it's a meat pounder.
Sometimes they come with, um, little textural bumps on the bottom designed to tenderize tougher cuts.
I shall interpret all subsequent comments on the subject by anyone named Mark to be my personal penance.

tktoo for the win!
I googled it and here's a plain white one marked INOX and listed as a meat tenderizer on ebay:

Doubleplusgood!
gotta beat that meat

Is it available in pink?
Best,
Aunt Mark

OK, that's ten Hail Marys right there.
On a side note, I knew a guy in a band that ended up calling themselves "The Beatmeaters" after the local papers refused to print their original name in the club listings.
And I'd also like to make it clear that the ONLY reason I had an inkling as to what this thing might be is that, for a period, I tried to perfect my technique for making chicken Cordon Bleau for which a proper tool for flattening breast fillets is essential. ...I thought I'd long since gotten over that.